Dear blog,

I want to speak, recording down what happen lately.

Seem like I am facing a punishment from God or so. I don't know what to do.

I got promoted to be an accountant. But what so proud in it, I got stress up easily, I lost my colleague, friends, and faith too.

Why has my closest friends turn into my greatest enemy over night.. Why they had gang up and making use every of my words and modified them and influence others...

Why has the world against me again. I do not want to lost this job, I had lost enough already. I want to have a good future, a good way of living, a good character, a good motivator to other, a useful being in this world who is able to share light with others.

I lost, I lost everything. I lost my patience. I lost my loved friend. and (she) defame me. Why is this happening.

I do not speak of evil in front of people, but the mind of people claim that I spoke bad word to their superior. People are watching me fall.

I want to be the happy innocent boy who has no worry of being in such a situation. Or is it I got no choice but to go through all these?

I requested for patience, and God give me situation and opportunity to show my patience.

I request for wisdom, and God give me opportunity to show my wisdom.

I am no match to God. I pray for God grace and forgiveness and guidance. I do no know what to do now. even my most trusted friends/superior seem un-trustful.

I am lonely. I wish to have someone share her life with me. Maybe I thought I found one, a single young mother, who treat me so nice and a motivator also. But recently she hate me so much which I don't even know the reason. She is now attached and I am a bit upset. Seem like I am gonna be a loner forever. I don no how long God will then provide a partner for me. I really pray so.

God please help me. My enemies are all around me mocking at me. I am losing. Please help me treat them with love and not hatred. Show them that I love them. I want them to be my good friend forever. I do not wish to curse them. God, please help me.